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Actual Concerts I Saw and What Little I Remember About Them

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The DBs, The Ritz, NYC, 1983

One of my college roommates tried to commit suicide afterwards, so we had to take him to the emergency room.

Billy Idol, Beacon Theatre, NYC 1984

The family that sat in the front row, all decked out in country and western attire — dad, mom, and a daughter and son who both looked around 10 or 12. The dad wore a cowboy hat and a Texas tie. When Idol got on the stage, they immediately stood up and clapped along to every song. The dad also stomped his foot like he was at a hoedown.

Doctor Demento, The Bottom Line, NYC, 1984

He sat at a desk and played short excerpts from all the songs I heard him play on the radio.

Spinal Tap, CBGB, NYC, 1984

The audience was filled with heavy metal guys who looked like they didn’t get the joke. I’d swear the guy next to me was the metal artist Thor. Somebody shoved me into him.

Violent Femmes, Irving Plaza, NYC, 1984

The opening act was a huge Maori chorale group. Their last song had a disco beat and the Violent Femmes came out to sing along.

Peter Tork, Speakeasy, NYC, 1985

After the show, we peed side-by-side, so it seemed like a good moment to say hello to him.

Rick Wakeman, The Ritz, NYC, 1986

Eventually everyone just sat down on the floor.

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